Ok ok

I had three different people tell me "why haven't you updated your blog!" in the same day, so I guess its a sign.

I have a very good excuse though... I started playing World of Warcraft and have instantly been sucked into the black hole of no return. Yeah, and you thought the black hole of no return was between Oprah's legs, didn't you?

I'm having so much fun playing it, its a really crazy immersive game.

Anyway, today is two years with Kevin, huzzah for us! Don't really know what more to say about that except that its been the best two years and I'm looking forward to another 40 or 50 of them. He just leaned out of the bathroom (putting in contacts, not pooping) and said "year 2 went by a lot faster than year 1" and its true.

I bought a violin yesterday and will start taking lessons after it arrives. I'll update on that once I finally have it in my hands. All my dreams are coming true now and all it took was getting out of that rotten cesspool of a city. I had a blast at Swing class last night (Swing dancing, not getting fucked in a) and learned a lot of new tricks. Apparently next month we'll be going to the other Country bar on wednesdays with the teachers from this class and just playing around and learning new tricks, I'm looking forward to that.

Kevin's dad is coming to visit next week, he'll be here Thursday-Tuesday. Should be interesting, he's planning on dragging Kevin (I'm opting out) all over the place to look at some random stuff. It'll be a fun time, I'm just not so good at spending entire days playing tourist. When we went to Portland last year, we spent one day playing tourist and the rest of the days just goofing off, and that's probably the only reason why I'd be happy to go back to Portland, cause there really isn't much to see there.

Well now its giving me some random message at the bottom of this box that says it can't connect to blogger.com, so I guess I better copy this whole entry before I try to post it, otherwise my blogging career might come to an angry screeching halt.

konnichiwa bitches

I'm flying to Baltimore tomorrow for Kevin's grandmother's funeral. My first Cath-a-holic funeral and I must say, while funerals aren't a fun affair, I'm not really looking forward to it. All that standing and sitting and kneeling, it'll be like Jane Fonda aerobics or something. But I'm gonna be there for my Biscuit! Flying up tomorrow night and flying back thursday morning, so it'll be a whirlwind trip.

Went to Wild Mustang on saturday after I dropped Kevin off for the airport and Lord have mercy did I ever dance. Apparently when Kevin isn't around its open season, there were only about 5 or 6 dances all night that I got to sit out and I've got the blister to prove it. It was so much fun, but I'd still rather be there with my boy.

Had a fun visit with Frank, despite the goings on. Had a ton of fun with Angel yesterday in the park and at Blake's (which I had never been to before), so I guess its been a pretty good weekend.

ummm

I got my haters blockers on watch my fuckin hater walk.

edit: One heffa two heffas three heffas four hit that bitch with a bottle watch that head hit the floor

A tawdry tale

So last night was the first time in years that I can remember sleeping through the entire night without waking up once. And the entire night I dreamed that I was on "The Next Iron Chef" competition. I went through all the challenges and eliminations and I was in the final three and I knew I was going to win. The judges adjourned to their little room to discuss and when they came back out I was so excited that I guess my heart rate was so high and my breathing so shallow that just as they were about to announce the winner I woke up. I felt totally robbed after all that hard work that I didn't get to hear my name as the winner and at least enjoy the moment in my dream. It was one of the meanest tricks my subconscious has ever played on me. But its amusing now.

Now, for the tawdry tale:

Yesterday we decided that I should try on a cockring, since I've never had one on before and knew nothing about them. We went to the Atlanta Leather Company (yeah really, of all places to go lol) and looked at them. I always just thought they were sortof rubber bandish stretchy things. Oh the buffet laid before me. Leather, neoprene, stainless steel, platinum, leather with staply spikes on the inside, weighted ones, on and on. Of course, the inner monkey screaming to get out, I was mesmerized by the shiny metal ones so the guy told me that I was allowed to try them on (I watched him clean it before AND after I tried it on). So he asks me what size I need, I tell him I don't have a clue, so he hands me one and tells me that this is the most popular size that usually fits most people. I go in the back and put the thing up to my nuts and realize that ONE of my testicles is the same size as the opening. Nervously, I waller the thing around until I manage to get all my junk through it and the guy comes back and asks how it fits. I didn't know how snug they were supposed to be, so he told me that when I was hard (which I was getting very close to) I should be able to fit a finger in under my balls. I couldn't fit a finger in anywhere, which I let him know and quickly asked how to get the damn thing off. Apparently the only way to get them off is to get soft. That's really hard to do when something is squeezing your cock. It took about 5 minutes of fierce concentration to finally get the thing off. Fast forward after trying on another one: They didn't have one big enough for me. *struts* While I could see the reality of some shit and know that they were just sold out of the next size up, I prefer to think that they just didn't have one big enough for this piece. ;) BMP strikes again (something ONLY Melissa will understand).

Now that I've typed that, I'm kind of shy. But I think its funny, and I'll enjoy reading it in a few years, so post!

mandatory updates

So I went to Le Cordon Bleu on friday and met with their admissions people. I knew it was going to be expensive, but I never had a clue that it would be $40,000 for a year. So culinary school is sort of out of the question for now. :(

After thinking about it for a while, I think that its probably for the best. If I spent that much money (and time!) on something like this I'd really feel the need to be ready to focus my whole life on making that my career.

Making money is good. I like having my days free to do the shopping, keep the house clean, cook and bake. Its certainly no long time solution, but I actually have a new money making scheme that I think will probably work out pretty well. ;) I won't talk about that here though.

I'm learning how to grow orchids now. I have one that's been blooming for a little over two weeks now, I'm trying to see if I can make it last for a month. I'm dying to get a puppy too. After seeing all the pups in the park this weekend, I'm definitely ready. My sister already told me where I can get a miniature dachshund for a great price. I'm now trying to convince Kevin that we could go ahead and get one and just not tell Post about it so we don't hafta pay their ridiculous $500 pet deposit (of which only $150 is refundable, even if there's no problems with the apt). How would they ever find out? I'm home every day anyway, I'd have plenty of time to train him and teach him fun tricks. What better time to get a puppy?