I hate children.

So I'll immediately clarify for all the people who just went "awww." I hate stupid children. I think this covers about 98% of them.

What better way to ruin your life and the lives of all those around you than to have a baby and let it be stupid.

Examples? Gladly.
We go to our nice, but smallish pool in our complex. There's a man with an ugly little girl in the pool. She's screaming. Constantly. Her grandmother or something is sitting on the opposite side of the pool from them yelling to her that everything is ok and that she's fine. Way to effectively monopolize the entirety of the pool area with your braindead family you asshat. The proper thing to do in this case would have been to hold the little bitch under the water, toss her in the compacter, and try again for a kid with a little more traction in the brain department.

We go to the farmer's market. It's as crowded as my balls in a pair of tighty whiteys. Who wouldn't put their kid in their shopping cart and out of the way? No one apparently. It would naturally make more sense (to a dullard) to just let your kid wander around and get in everyone's way, then scream at them to follow you and hare off through the aisles not even waiting to see if they heard and are in fact following you.

True, stupid children are a product of bad parents, but in this case I hate the symptom and the disease.

To close on a positive note, I love my nephews. They're not stupid.

Cookbooks :)

I'm pleased with myself. I just spent 15 minutes and gathered about 15 of my favorite recipes for my cookbook. Maybe I can have it together by late summer.

QQQQQQQWTF?

I don't know where my clothes are from last night.

Not as bad as it sounds. We went to the Tuscany pool party last night and Kevin and I were the only ones who got in the pool. At a pool party. Are we children?

Rotgut liquor. Someone making me the drink that was the turning point because I was planning on being somewhat classy and ended up not remembering how I got home.

I really need to start trying to eat before I drink like that. Then maybe I won't end up drunk at work. Like now.

Nap under the desk, here I come!

Hubert Cumberdale

Reading back through my old posts I saw one about Danja (who is still in my freezer, by the way) and it made me want to write about my current pets.

I have a superdog. His name is Hewie (in fancy company he's Hubert Cumberdale). He makes funny faces, funnier sounds, and frequently knits his eyebrows at me when I'm talking nonsense to him.

There is nothing on earth more deserving of praise than this dear little german boy here. I don't praise often, I want it to mean something when I do. Although his cleverness is infuriating sometimes, we don't ever stay mad at him for more than a few minutes before we're laughing about it. He's such a clever little shit.

On the clever note it's time to talk about our other pup, Rofl (Roflpotomus Rex). We rescued him back in December, about a week before Christmas. He is just about the most cuddly, teddy bear-ish dog I've ever seen in my life. He doesn't want anymore more than to be close to someone.

Then you take him outside and he sees another dog and tries to eat it's face. I'm so glad that he doesn't make any noise, he never barks or whines about anything, or else he'd be a real asshat. He's content just laying around 90% of the time. He's (almost) really good about house training. He doesn't have a tenth of the personality that Hewie does, but I think we'd probably lose our minds if he did.

I'm glad we rescued him. Kevin teases me when I start talking about him being in a facility instead of in a foster home. It's probably at least 99% of the reason why I brought him home the first day I met him - I didn't want him to go back to the facility ever again. He drives us batty, but I wouldn't trade him for the world.

I'm trying to start working on a cookbook with all my favorite recipes in it. I'll have it printed and bound and sell it for something and donate all the profits to the DREAM Dachshund Rescue in Decatur. There's something I can do with my time besides playing League of Legends. I was hoping to have it done in the spring, but the year is flying by so fast.

I'll start gathering recipes, I guess that's probably the easiest way to start.

That's all.

The only other thing I have to say

No. That's all.

My home

Here's some stuff you might not know about me:

1. I hate people.
Plenty of people specifically, but mostly just people in general. They tend to ruin anything. "Oh let me run to the grocery store really quick before I have to be at ________ in 10 minutes. Oh, a dozen people waiting in line and one register open?" Everything in my hands ends up on the floor and I storm out with a little thundercloud above my head.

2. I have no patience. For anything. Ever.
See number one for a good example of human related impatience. I was literally the kid who would eat dry jello mix  because I didn't want to wait for it to set in the fridge. That has eased up a little, but I still put ice cubes in the hot water after the jello dissolves so that it gets to gelling temperature faster.

3. I have a social anxiety disorder.
This could possibly be partially attributed to both numbers one and two. It is nothing for me to walk into a bar and turn around and walk straight back out again because I think I'm either going to throw up or shit my pants lol. It's been happening in varying seriousness off and on for about 10 years, but last year was the worst year of all. There was a three month span where I literally couldn't go to the grocery store to throw all my food on the floor in a fit when the line was too long. I couldn't go to a bar or a club. I was mortified of driving because getting stuck in traffic sent me reeling into the abyss. I was either at home or at work. Those were the only two safe zones. It was miserable. I've gotten a fair grip on it since last year, but it's still nothing for me to go to a restaurant, order food, then sit there and not eat a bite.


I don't really know if there was much more point to this post than to just get in the swing of writing something here.

Well hello. Welcome to my home

I stumbled on my old blog today and had a good laugh reading some of the silly shit I had posted in here. Maybe I'll start blogging again, and actually bother sharing the link with people.